Issue 7: The Devolution of Dinosaurs
Somewhere standing beneath a ghetto streetlight is a lizard sipping a Frappuccino.
Welcome to The Bluebird Paradox, a gritty MicroZine written by me, Chris Sadhill, that explores the coexistence of light and darkness, focusing on social issues and the human experiences we often overlook, presented through various short stories, poetry, and other creative arts.
The Bluebird pays homage to Charles Bukowski’s poem Bluebird, which delves into themes of vulnerability, repression, and the struggle to express oneself authentically.
Often, the Bluebird symbolizes hope, love, positivity, and renewal; however, throughout my life, I’ve observed the presence of darkness where there is light, leading me to believe in a paradoxical relationship between the two.
The Bluebird Paradox embraces the inherent contradictions and complexities of our existence and seeks to reveal deeper truths about society, emotions, and the human experience.
As always, thank you for being here. Please enjoy the read.
We can’t control everything, though our egos would argue otherwise. Sure, you can pick which color socks to slide on today, choose to leave early to avoid getting stuck behind that goddamned school bus again, or skirt the edge of insanity by adding two shots of espresso to your Mocha Grande Frappuccino. But constantly trying to predict a hundred-mile-wide asteroid you never saw coming in the first place—that’s impossible. Dragging along years of bitterness, anger, and worry—a huge waste of time and energy.
So why do it? Why dread the things you can’t control? Why carry a mountain of worry?
Life is a series of lucky chances, random encounters, and risks we try to mitigate daily. We’re constantly dodging self-imposed catastrophes while holding it together just enough to avoid a meltdown. Each of us is on the verge of our own mini-Chernobyl. And though we try, we can’t deal with it all—we can barely manage actual problems, let alone ones that don’t matter. Over time, this distress builds layer by layer, hardening into rock, becoming dead weight—a burden we carry everywhere.
There are things we’re simply incapable of knowing, which, in the universe’s grand scheme, is almost everything. No one knows what the hell is happening. Yet, ask anyone, and they’ll claim to have the answers. Ironically, even I’m sharing one below—but don’t worry, it’s the right one, trust me.
The reality is, that few of us have even begun to notice or understand what sits in front of us, at this very moment. And none of us has figured out the rest—and that’s okay. That’s how it should be. The human experience is meant to be simple. All the other bullshit is just noise brought on by modernism, religion, or some other human construct.
When people take on too much, they turn bitter and selfish, lacking respect and empathy for one another. They become more like machines—cogs in the larger machine—and forget what it means to be human. As a culture, we’re constantly on edge—a pressure cooker left on high, forgotten. Nowadays, it feels like the world could pop off at any moment. It’s only a matter of time before it explodes.
But there is a solution—something that’s been in front of us the whole time: simply letting shit go, focusing on the now, and living in the fucking moment. That’s it. Strip everything else away, the past, the future, the worry, and what’s left is the moment. Don’t care about the rest.
Don’t you think it’s time to let the insignificant things die instead of clinging to them? Whatever happened before doesn’t matter. Whatever’s going to happen doesn’t matter either—you’ll never see it coming nor can you control it until it’s right in front of you. So why worry? Remove the stress and bitterness, and enjoy what you have now.
It’s December. The year behind you doesn’t dictate how the next one will go—if you choose it. Take this opportunity to release the dead weight: the resentments, the jealousy, the grudges, the hate—the bullshit.
At the end of the day, you are the most important thing to think about. Try that for once—make you a resolution.
This month’s theme is inspired by a poem I wrote in 2023 titled Dinosaur Chickens. I believe I wrote it in response to a writing prompt: “Changing of the Seasons.”
With this poem, I wanted to accomplish a few things—the juxtaposition of letting go of small things using the extinction of the dinosaurs as the catalyst. I also aimed to explore the positive aspects of embracing constant change and the opportunities that arise from those choices. Additionally, there’s a hint of relationships and social commentary woven throughout.
I hope reading this inspires your year ahead to feel less cluttered and burdened by unnecessary worry. I hope it encourages you to grow mentally and physically stronger. There’s also some dark humor in this one so I hope it makes you smile. Please enjoy!
Dinosaur Chickens Seasons change, much like how eyes can’t stay open forever— it’s science really, life happening between the blinks, like the dinosaurs. One day they’re schlepping across the same land where you now stand curbside, comfortably sipping that Frappuccino and worrying about what some nameless bitch said online three days ago. And one day, they’re gone. Much like that junkpile melting beneath a ghetto streetlight, where trash is someone’s treasure, it’s between the flickers of that short-circuited amber glow where you too will disappear overnight. Seasons change, gray skies brighten to blue, months turn to years, unprocessed rage boils over, and love floats away with the clouds to far-away places, only to become a storm in someone elses sky. And to them, you bid: Godspeed, or farewell. But eventually, fresh moisture collects above you, as new seasons approach, and once again you’re living in the clouds, tracing your fingers across their impossible shapes, and falling in love all over again, only to loathe again. Seasons change. Lizards the size of buses devolved to the height of chickens simply to lay our eggs. And much like them, mankind will regress too. In fact, we’ll likely drive ourselves to extinction, using our own world-ending “asteroids.” And perhaps, just like the dinosaurs, our final worth will be reduced to the next intelligible species farming breakfast out of our asses. At least then, we’d be worth something, even if it’s just scrambled nutrients. Don’t fret, though. Knowing all of this shouldn’t discourage you. Instead, it should empower you to prioritize living your life to the fullest every day, never giving a fuck about a million years from now because hey, seasons change. So, to you, I bid: Godspeed, and farewell. ©2023 Chris Sadhill
Sadhill’s Music Minute
“Fall” by Lisa Hannigan reminds us to always fight to stay human—to be an individual, to keep our hair untamed, to let go of our inhibitions, to rebel, and to be wild at all costs, despite progress being a constant crawl.
The song begins with a cozy guitar loop, setting the tone for the entire piece. There’s a beautiful nonchalance about the rebelliousness Lisa encourages, as if defiance can exist in harmony with serenity.
Lisa’s voice offers a soothing whisper, an ethereal calmness that hangs in the air, even as the lyrics evoke wildness.
For me, the song’s key takeaway is the simplicity of stripping everything back to what truly matters—the resilience of the human spirit, continuing regardless of the changing seasons. “Fall” perfectly captures this month’s theme and the mission of The Bluebird Paradox: to let go, to live raw and in the moment, to embrace life unpolished and free.
"Fall" was featured in S2E6 of the series "The End of the Fucking World" in 2017, and S5E15 of the Television series "The Blacklist” in 2013.
Sadhill News
Writing Battle
My story, The Roach and the Butterfly was awarded a Sensational 64 Silver Trophy winning 7 out of 10 duels and ranked in the Top 64 out of 295 writers or the top 22% of participants in the Espionage genre. It earned a spot in the Top 256 among 1460 total submitted stories or the Top 18% in the entire contest across all four genres. I received 47 reads and comments during the debriefs. It also was in 2nd place for my genre's most-read and commented story.
It's always exciting to have such a dedicated following and receive great feedback during debriefs. Though I asked for the bad and the ugly too, I guess it's a good sign my writing is improving when there's little to nothing to nitpick. Having nearly everyone who reads my piece enjoy it, find my world heartbreaking, and connect with Artie and Jules deeply is amazing. I'm also thrilled that so many readers have received everything I intended in this story so well.
A quick note on the judging for this piece—I’ll try not to sound like too much of a sore loser. That said, this is the first time I’ve felt I had inferior judges in the Spartan rounds. In my opinion, after reading the stories I went up against, there’s a clear difference in nearly all aspects of quality and storytelling—I should’ve received a Sweet 16 trophy. I won't speculate as to why I think this happened out of respect for the competition, and Max, the creator. Regardless of this minor ego setback, I had a good time, but I will admit I’m quite bitter about this early loss. Especially on this piece, Especially to those stories. Especially since this is my best entry yet!
Moving forward: The next battle is the 2025 Winter Writing Battle. I'm contemplating my 2025 strategy and still have not paid for anything. I may move to the pro-judged rounds to avoid my above concern for the peer-judged contest!
Twisted Tournament
The results are in, and I did pretty damn well overall—I love all three of my stories and am quite proud of them.
My 500-word story, Split Rock, was my lowest performer but still ranked in the top 40%. It also earned some trophies: one Most Tension, one Best Opening Line, and one Best Last Line. For anyone who knows me, that's exactly what I aim for in my writing. Despite its lower ranking, this feels like a win to me.
I understand I can't please everyone, but if what I set out to accomplish in a story is recognized, then I'm perfectly fine with the results. I loved the tension and turmoil I put my character through and had so much fun writing this piece, especially as it was another attempt at channeling Poe. For 500 words, I think I nailed it.
My 250-word story, Espresso, On the Rocks, killed it, coming in 7th place, and boy did it earn some trophies: one Best Prose, one Best Last Line, three Best Title, two Most Heartfelt, and two Best Opening Line.
This story is being added to a Noire collection I've been developing for a couple of years. That same collection also includes my best story from the last Twisted Tourney, Jane—a fifteenth-place tie. I'm beginning to think I should entertain the idea of being a Noire Romance writer now.
My 100-word story, They Waited..., performed pretty decent considering I stretched the rules a tad and experimented with form and structure. (Though I argue the abuse of extremely long titles is at least the same if not worse). This story also earned two trophies: one Best Prose, and one Most Tension. I will say by the time I got to writing this story I was burnt out, and the prompts I got were uninspiring, so I wrote it fairly quickly!
and finally… Drum roll please…
My overall ranking for all three rounds:
15th Place
Publications
I’ve submitted poetry and short fiction to various Lit Mags and Journals and have not heard back yet.
Upcoming Events & Contests:
2025 Writers Playground: Jan 9th- 19th (I’ve officially signed up!)
2025 Winter Flash Fiction Writing Battle: Feb 6th- Feb 9th2025
2025 Spring Micro Fiction Writing Battle: May 2nd- May 4th
2025 Autumn Fear Flash Fiction Writing Battle: Oct 5th- Oct 12th
NEW Book Development
Over the past two years, I’ve developed some great short stories, also some shit ones, most of them written for competitions, and at the end of each contest, I always promise myself I’m going to develop that story into a novel someday.
Yet, someday never comes…
Additionally, many of my readers have stressed interest in my development of a novel from more than a few of these stories.
I’ve been lazy, overwhelmed at times, and even used the excuses that I’m too busy, it’s not the right time, or some other bullshit I talk myself into believing.
Well, now it’s fucking time! I’m finally cutting out a few contests to make room for writing my first self-published novella or novel, but I need your help.
Please read each story summary and answer the poll below to help me decide what my 2025 novel will be. By helping, you may just receive a special gift when it’s published. Wink Wink!
Here are a few brief concepts or summaries of each story (by no means are these complete):
Dystopian Series: Inspired by and set in the same Orwellian/Atwoodian world as The Roach and The Butterfly and A Pill to Swallow, this series will serve as my pinnacle of social commentary on a broken world, a corrupt system, and the flawed lifestyles of a near-future America. I envision this as a series, with each story following a different set of characters as they navigate various facets of this fractured world. Tentative Title: Unknown.
Drama Series: Inspired by real events and set in a world similar to Ashtray, this near-memoir series follows a boy growing up in a trailer park with his alcoholic mother, a useless stepfather, and siblings. Surrounded by poverty, abuse, and abandonment—along with countless opportunities to get into trouble, get hurt, or even be killed—he faces overwhelming challenges. Yet, along the way, there are people who might help guide him toward the light. Tentative Title: Ashtray.
Noir Murder-Romance Series: Over the past two years, I’ve taken every opportunity to slip beneath the smoky veil of a 1940s speakeasy, investigate the gorgeous remains of dead prostitutes, hide with angry wives lurking in the dark, and nearly succumb to seductresses hired to take out the trash. I’ve developed a handful of these stories and would love to expand them into a series of dark, smoky murder-romance novels. No tentative title yet, but you can be assured it will be good!
Suspense Thriller #1: I’m not a fan of sharing my secret ideas, but at some point, I’ve got to trust someone, right? Might as well be you, fine folks. One story that has stuck with me for years I’ve tentatively titled The Early Bird. If you’re like me and love rummaging through other people’s junk on Saturday mornings, hunting for treasures to stash in the corners of your home, then you might just love the idea of a Yard Sale thriller. But in this story, it’s the uninvited early birds who show up first. You can expect a rope, a basement, a chilling backstory, and a twist so twisty that even the wife didn’t see it coming, and she suspected adultery the whole time.
Suspense Thriller #2: How far would you go for the one you love? For Daniel, the answer is anything. After 30 years of marriage and a lifetime built together with his wife, Janice, he refuses to let anything stand in the way of her survival. When their insurance stops covering the ongoing treatments for her blood transfusions, Daniel is forced to combine his years of experience as a maple syrup farmer with the darkest corners of the internet. His obsession with keeping Janice alive soon drives him to desperate—and chilling—measures somewhere in the Green Mountains of Vermont. Tentative Title: Tapped.
So what would you read? What would you buy? What sounds the most exciting to you having read some of my work?
Answer below:
Accountability Alert!!!
For now, this section of the Microzine will replace the Writing Challenge, as it wasn’t receiving the level of interest I felt it deserved.
Each month, I’ll update you on my progress, share parts of my process when possible, and use this space to stay accountable—both to you and, more importantly, to myself. And hey, a few words of encouragement in the comments now and then probably wouldn’t hurt!
If you’re interested in joining my Beta Readers team, drop a comment, find me on social media everywhere @ChrisSadhill, or email me at ChrisSadhill@gmail.com, and I’ll add you to the list.
Now, let’s write this fucking book!
Thank you for your support!
…and please leave a comment. I love hearing from you.
Congrats on the stories! But really I came here to say, you did great on the tone of this one to match the messaging. Loved it.
I'm sorta missing writing battle, even if it makes me mad lol